just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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