She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
