where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
