It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
