You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
