Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize