spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize