I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
His hands were made for my vagina.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize