That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
