I cockslap morals
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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