Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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