Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
