The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
