turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize