When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
