just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
