i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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