Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
