What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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