we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
