It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
