That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
