So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
