It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
