Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
