I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
