Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
