they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
