Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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