how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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