She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
