Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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