three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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