oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
