Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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