you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
