Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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