Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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