My first STD was from a foam party
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
