HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
