in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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