It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
