420 ftw
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
