you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
