He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
