Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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