I wannas sexs uuuuu
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize