I think I won the penis lottery.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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