I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
