the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
