she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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