I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
