At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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