ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
