Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it glows. i had to have it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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