he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
