I wannas sexs uuuuu
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
