I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
