I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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