this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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